Thursday, June 19, 2008

Dad's don't talk

About a year ago, midway through Mark's surge deployment, I started looking for blogs written by military dads. I found some great blogs but almost all were written by spouses or moms.

There were plenty of male war bloggers out there but they were all full of testosterone and politics. I wasn't interested in the surge-is-or-isn't-working conversations. I was looking for someone who got up every morning, looked at his watch and wondered what his son had done the night before.

I only found one written by Infantry Dad.

That was it. One.

We have followed each other's sons through very long deployments and thankfully both are home safe. It was nice to have someone to talk to.

This spring I found another blog written by Abnpoppa.

His son is also in the 82nd and in the same brigade as my son.

My question: Why aren't more dads writing?


Infantry Dad said...

Probably because it isn't considered a masculine thing to do.
Men are supposed to be strong and macho, and to admit that you're scared is to show weakness.
I was so worried that I became an emotional basket case.
If that makes me any less a man, than so be it.
I've truely enjoyed our conversations, and I'm honored to know you and Abnpoppa.

Lobsters. Sorry I haven't responded to your note.
I have a commitment on the 26th, but nothing on the 27th.
But. I don't want you to feel obligated. The bet was more a joke than anything else, and I'm sure you'll be quite busy in the short time you'll be here.
If it works out great, and if it doesn't, we'll get together another time.

Hope all is well.

ABNPOPPA said...

Well, let me put in my 2 cents worth. We weren't raised to show our emotions. We are products of the 60's, (at least me). My dad was a WWII Veteran with nearly 3 years overseas. In the forty plus years I was honored with his presence he never once spoke of what he did while in the Philippine Islands. Not even in July of 1966 when I enlisted. I got $5.00 a handshake and "good luck"

Didn't really bother me cause I new by everything he did he loved me. He never missed a track meet nor a football came and fishing was something we did together nearly to the day he died. In fact that day I was going to the farm to help him install some motion sensor lights.

I only saw him cry twice. Once when my daughter, Sarah, was born and once when his mother died.

Tough, rough, kind of an Irish cop type of guy. Point being he kept it all inside and I like him and the rest of us are very much trained to do that. Not that it is good but that's the way we are, or were. Me, thanks to you guys, I finally went to the Dr. and got some drugs. It helped but this crazy internet family had a lot to do with making it through. Just knowing someone else was hanging on by a thread, just like me.

I don't know about you but I NEVER miss a chance to tell Jacob how much I love him and I hug him until my arms are tired. For a rough tough AIRBORNE guy that must be hard to handle but guess what, he does.

Didn't mean to go so long but without out you guys, Mighty Mom, and a retired Army Chaplin I wonder how I would have made it.

Thanks to both you guys and if you ever get near Ohio, Adult beverages are on me.

We have 3 great boys,


Airborne dad said...

Pops and Dad,

You two were chief among the reasons I was able to get through the last deployment. I was a basket case during the last deployment and I will again during the next.

Know that someone out there who is going through the same thing, and is willing to talk about it, really helps.

Next time I'm in Ohio, I will call for an adult beverage or two.

And Dad, if July doesn't work out, we will try again or I will double up on the Pats. Jags, barring injuries, should be a better team than last year.